Anger Management

Counselling Services for the Greater Toronto Area

Anger Management

Anger is an emotional state of readiness driven by an impulse to attack, defend, or protect, which is a response to a perceived threat or challenge. When someone feels violated or experiences rude actions they release emotions of anger. Perceived threat or fear can be triggered by an injustice, unfairness, criticism, frustration, insult, or any form of abuse such as physical, verbal, sexual or spiritual.

When anger is out of control, we are incapable of effectively communicating our true feelings. As our mask of anger takes over it blinds us from our true emotions. Most often, real emotions are associated with fear or loss.

According to Maxine Marsolini, many things have the potential to bring about unhealthy anger. Recognizing points of personal vulnerability is the first step. Do any of the following sound familiar?

  • Wounding words
  • Physical discomfort (health issues, weather, abuse, etc.)
  • Defending others
  • Peer pressure
  • Work-related unfairness
  • Difficulty in family relationships
  • Self-pity
  • Unmet expectations
  • Silent treatment or rejection from others
  • Financial woes or greed
  • A sudden or unexpected change or crises

Principles of Anger Management

According to T Powell, anger is a natural emotion borne out of frustration and is a positive and constructive aid to survival. Anger management is about recognizing, breaking down, and altering this sequence of events.

  • Aggression is a learnt behavior which can be changed
  • Our core beliefs and our thoughts affect the way we behave
  • We can reduce our tendency to become angry if we can become aware of and understand our thinking patterns and beliefs
  • Anger can be a positive and empowering emotion, if it is used constructively
  • Managing stress by not allowing unfinished business to build up

Tips on reducing feelings of anger and calming down

If you notice yourself getting physically tense, go through the following routine:

  • Speak slowly in a calm voice
  • Keep your distance and take a few steps backwards
  • Imagine a peaceful scene, or count to ten
  • Slow breathing from your stomach not your chest

Elpizo Counselling provides you with tools to manage your anger in a constructive manner. Call for an individual session or click here to book an anger management class where you will receive a certificate and a letter at the end of the day should you need to complete a mandated course.